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Wayne and Staci's Place
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Hi there and welcome to our little peice of cyberspace! Im Wayne, she's Staci. Nice to meet you. So ...what are we doing here? I've the slightest, but we're going to try. How about some jokes? I know there are a millon joke pages out there, but hey its my page right? ok then lets get started.....
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This one is the wife's idea!
Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?
You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago,
keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss
II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the
Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Nose hair Clippings from the
Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to
Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the
Goodwill.
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of
Your Kitchenware.
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and
Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall
Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools
Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
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PARENTAL EXCUSES
These are actual excuse notes from parents (including
original
spelling):
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
and I had her
shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
31,32,and also 33.
4.Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell
out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
5.John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face.
6. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing
football. He was hurt in the growing part.
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has
been bothered by
very close veins.
8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in
his side.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels.
10. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He
11.Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
bust.
12.Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's
fault.
13.I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas
shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.
14.Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought
it was Sunday.
15.Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have
to attend her
funeral.
16.Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and
could not breed well.
17.Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the
doctor.
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